I Can't Go On Like This Much Longer

This is probably the one and only time
I will say it like it is without using a rhyme
Usually I hide behind the words and the verse
Because it's hard to say everything unrehearsed

But I'm gonna let it come straight out of my mind
And I'll let the words come just like they are blind
I am struggling to understand the cause,
The reason behind the feelings when I pause

It's like, when I'm busy, I really am fine
But when I stop and have some personal time
I just, have this dull ache that doesn't go away
I try and think it off, and shake it off, but it stays

The thing that I don't let people understand at all
Is that even when I smile, when i'm struggling, it's false
I think it actually hurts more to smile through the hurt
But I don't want people to feel like they have to comfort

I just want one person to care about how I am doing
Like, genuinely care, and not have any previous cuing
But I always feel selfish when I start to think this way
So I go out to love others, but let's be honest, inside, I pay

I don't want to just run away again and leave it
But sometimes I just don't know how to relieve it
Everything I try to do to loosen it's rediculous grip
Just seems to make it worse and make me trip

I don't know. Maybe i'm just being a dumb girl
Maybe it's still, when I feel like it's all a whirl
I wonder when the storm will break, like a fever
Running down the field, like a open wide receiver

But for some reason, I think that it's somehow climbing
I'm just glad I can express myself without just rhyming
I feel a little better choosing not to hide behind freestyles
I guess i'll just keep on trucking down this road for awhile

Rhyme inspired by coming back to an empty apartment,
well...most everything feels empty actually...
And Relient K "I So Hate Consequences"