You Can't Help That You're So Ugly, But You Coulda Stayed Home

My grandpa used to take me aside and say
"Do yourself a favor and don't get old"
Cuz your knees and your will back will start to pay
And before you know, you're overbearingly bold

You'll start to buy your grandkids ungly sweaters
Which they'll only wear in pictures they send you
You'll begin buying silk flowers and feathers
And use them with lace to spice up your do

People will forget that you still are kickin'
You'll probably forget most of the time yourself
In retirement, your pockets, the young start pickin
Trying to build themselves their own little wealth

Your friends will die and your weekends are spent
Going to funerals. You'll be so used to black
Soon your mind will go, you forget what you meant
When you ordered a hundred prunes in a pack

So do yourself a favor and don't get old
Stay young and spry for the rest of your days
Cuz sittin in the grave all frozen and cold
Just isn't as great as all the old folks say

Rhyme inspired by the Colonel
and the old lady I sat next to in Institute today
and Alphaville "Forever Young"